A new survey by Maplecroft which is a UK based global risk advisory company has examined which countries in the world are likely to be most vulnerable to climate change and which ones will fare best when the ice caps melt, sea levels rise and the climate goes crazy.  This report is entirely serious but we’re finding it a little hard to take without a pinch of salt..

The company place Canada in the number one position which is interesting because Canada is already covered in snow and freezing for most of the year, parts of Canada are covered in glaciers and it’s a well known fact that there are polar bears in Canada too.  All of these factors may become negative features when climate change gets a grip – so, from further analysis of the report we have determined that you should actually go and live in Ireland to escape climate change!

Ireland is second on Maplecroft’s list of the best countries to live in when climate change and global warming get a grip of the nation.  And we at Degtev think that it is actually a preferable choice to Canada, after all, when the ice caps melt and all that water from the Arctic Circle begins to rise, surely Canada will be engulfed and all the polar bears will leg it down country and be found living in Vancouver and Toronto making Canada less of an attractive option all of a sudden.

Far better to consider Ireland then.  Ireland is already an island floating in the sea, it can carry on floating when the waters around it rise.  It’s already an island blighted by heavy rainfall…so if higher sea levels equates to more rain, the Irish will cope.  Or, if as some have suggested the Gulf Stream warms up even more, Ireland could suddenly benefit from something of a lush and tropical landscape with balmy sunny days and tropical storms perhaps?

The island is a long way for polar bears to swim to, so that’s ok, and even if sea levels rise above the Irish coastline, you can still live in the mountains and be fine.  After all, the Irish attitude to life is very healthy indeed, and if all around us ice caps are melting and the world is effectively coming to an end, where better to be than in an Irish bar enjoying the craic and getting on with what you have left of life rather than trying to put off the inevitable.

So, thanks to Maplecroft for their very well researched and serious report, we’re taking the data you’ve supplied and as soon as we see more evidence of climate change, we’re getting on the Pembroke Rosslare ferry and getting the hell out of here!